Parenting

The following scriptures on parenting are taken from Dr. Brian Campbell's book entitled:  "Godly Counsel:  Scriptures for today's world"
Copyright, 2011, Dr. Brian Campbell, All Rights Reserved

 

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when

he is old he will not turn from it.”

(Proverbs 22:6)

 

 

Parenting: the process of raising and educating

a child from birth to adulthood.

 

 

Being a parent is not easy in today’s society.  The media and the secular world are full of advice on how to raise children. Parenting is made even more difficult by divorce, poverty, and violence that are prevalent in our modern world.  If you are confused, turn to God’s Word for help and guidance.

 

Synopsis

 

Above all else, Christian parenting is to be based on love.  As you go about the task of raising children, you are to love them deeply from the heart,¹ just as God loves you.²  In fact, everything you do with your child should be based on love.³  If you become discour­aged in your role as a parent, remember that even if you make “mistakes,” love will make up for your lack of perfection.⁴  In the final analysis, love never fails.⁵

 

 

Love one another deeply,

from the heart.

(1 Peter 1:22)¹

 

Dear friends, let us love one another,

for love comes from God.

(1 John 4:7)²

 

Do everything in love.

(1 Corinthians 16:14)³

 

 

One of the most important ways you can show love to your children is to teach them the Bible.  God’s Word contains an important reference guide on training your children to behave and act appropriately.  Hiding the Scripturesn your child’s heart will help him resist sin,⁶ and ensure that when he grows up he will not turn from God’s commandments.⁷

As you teach your children, try to be positive,⁸ and be careful how you talk to them.  When you speak, try to be Christ-like,⁹ and remember that “reckless words pierce like a sword,”¹⁰ and the things you say to your child in anger can have significant impact on their entire lives. Learn to hold your tongue.^11,12 Be patient and kind;^13,14

Above all, love each other deeply,
because love covers over a multitude of sins.  (1 Peter 4:8)⁴

Love  never fails.  (1 Corinthians 13:8)⁵

I have hidden your word in my heart that I

might not sin against you.  (Psalm 119:11)⁶

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old

he will not turn from it.  (Proverbs 22:6)⁷

Pleasant words promote instruction.  (Proverbs 16:21)⁸

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking

the very words of God.  (1 Peter 4:11)⁹

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the

tongue of the wise brings healing .  (Proverbs 12:18)¹⁰

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch

over the door of my lips.  (Psalm 141:3)¹¹

When words are many, sin is not absent,

but he who holds his tongue is wise.  (Proverbs 10:19)¹²

Be patient, bearing with one another in love.  (Ephesians 4:2)¹³

Love  is patient, love is kind.  (1 Corinthians 13:4)¹⁴

speak quietly, and try not to shout all the time.¹⁵  Think before you speak,¹⁶ and be careful not to embitter¹⁷ or exasperate¹⁹ your children.  Treat all your children equally, and do not show favoritism for one child or the other.¹⁹

Another way you can show love to your child is through the proper application of discipline .²⁰  When considering different forms of discipline, the Bible clearly advocates corporal punishment as an essential technique for training children.²¹ Of course, there are other forms of discipline that parents can use, and great care must be taken when administering corporal punishment.** 

The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded

than the shouts of a ruler of fools.

(Ecclesiastes 9:17)¹⁵

Do you see a man who speaks in haste? 

There is more hope  for a fool than for him.

(Proverbs 29:20)¹⁶

Fathers, do not embitter your children,

or they will become discouraged.

(Colossians 3:21)¹⁷

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead,

bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

(Ephesians 6:4)¹⁸

To show partiality in judging is not good.

(Proverbs 24:23)¹⁹

He who spares the rod hates his son,

but he who loves him is careful to discipline  him.

(Proverbs 13:24)²⁰

Do not withhold discipline  from a child; if you punish

him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod

and save his soul from death.

(Proverbs 23:13-14)²¹

**  Please Note:  Solomon’s advice was to use a “rod” when disciplining.  However, in today’s society, this form of punishment is generally not permissible under current laws and social norms.  Other forms of cor­poral punishment, such as spanking with your hand, would normally be permissible. If you have any questions, check with your local authorities.
However, based on King Solomon’s advice, appropriate use of corporal punishment is clearly consistent with Biblical guidance.^22,23  In fact, properly administered corporal punishment may be important for your child’s very salvation.²¹

When you discipline your children (in whatever form), you are giving them a blessing, just as we ourselves are blessed when God disciplines us.²⁴  God disciplines us for our sin,²⁵ and this disciplinee is good for us, so that we may share in His holiness.²⁶  

When you receive discipline from God, or when you give disciplineo your children, it isn’t very pleasant, nor is it meant to be.²⁷  However, the “fruits” of disciplinere worth the “pain.”  ace

The rod of correction imparts wisdom ,

but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

(Proverbs 29:15)²²

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,

but the rod of discipline  will drive it far from him.

(Proverbs 22:15)²³

Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the

discipline  of the Almighty.  For he wounds,

but he also binds up; he injures,

but his hands also heal.

(Job 5:17-18)²⁴

You rebuke and discipline  men for their sin.

(Psalm 39:11)²⁵

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as

they thought best; but God disciplines for our good,

that we may share in his holiness.

(Hebrews 12:10)²⁶

No discipline  seems pleasant at the time, but painful. 

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of

righteousness and peace for those

who have been trained by it.

(Hebrews 12:11)²⁷

Discipline makes us wise,²⁸  helps keep us out of trouble,²⁹ and helps us lead successful and honorable lives.³⁰ 

Some parents worry  that if they discipline  their children that their children will not “like them.”  The main goal of parenting is not to have your children like you; however, it is extremely important that your children grow up to obey you and respect you.^31,32

Finally, some parents worry that if they discipline  their children, their children will be “afraid  of them," or fear them; however, a child’s fear of his parents is not necessarily a bad thing.  A child’s fear of his parents is analogous to an adult’s fear of God.  Proper fear of our heavenly Father³³ helps keep us from sinning,³⁴ and makes us wiser.³⁵  

Whoever loves discipline  loves knowledge,

but he who hates correction is stupid.

(Proverbs 12:1)²⁸

He will die for lack of discipline ,

led astray by his own great folly.

(Proverbs 5:23)²⁹

He who ignores discipline  comes to poverty  and shame,

but whoever heeds correction is honored.

(Proverbs 13:18)³⁰

He must manage his own family well and see that

his children obey him with proper respect.

(1 Timothy 3:4)³¹

We have all had fathers who disciplined us and we

respected them for it.  How much more should we

submit to the Father of our spirits and live!

(Hebrews 12:9)³²

Fear  the Lord your God, serve him only

and take your oaths in his name.

(Deuteronomy 6:13)³³

Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid .  God has

come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you

and keep you from sinning.”

(Exodus 20:20)³⁴

Bottom line…when you properly disciplineour children, things will turn out better for you and for them.  When children are properly disciplined, they tend to live more righteousives;²⁷ and when they grow up, they bring peace and joy to their parents.³⁶

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom ,

and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

(Proverbs 9:10)³⁵

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;

he will bring delight to your soul.

(Proverbs 29:17)³⁶

A Final Note:  Most authorities would not advocate corporal punishment before age 1 or after the age of 8-years-old.  To be effective, corporal punishment should be used cautiously and sparingly.  It is most often recommended for use in connection with dangerous or clearly defiant behaviors exhibited by the child.  Of course, not all modern authorities would agree with the use of corporal punishment.  The biblical perspective is emphasized in this Lesson, as found in God’s Word.