Christian Marriage Counseling

 

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,

and the two will become one flesh.”

(Mark 10:7-8)

 

 

Marriage : the legal union of two people of the

opposite sex as husband and wife

 

 

Marriage  is a sacred institution that God established from the beginning of mankind. If you are married or plan to be married, turn to the scriptures for important advice and guidance.

 

Synopsis

 

The institution of marriage can be traced to the creation story.  After God created Adam, He realized it was not good for man to be alone and so He decided to make a helpmate for him,¹ and so He created Eve, the first woman.  It was precisely at this point in time—after God created “woman”— that the first reference to marriage appears in the scriptures.  God an­nounced that the desire for “woman” would be for her “husband,” and that her husband would rule over her.² The use of the term “husband” represents the first reference in the Bible to the institution of marriage.

 

 

 

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  

I will make a helper suitable for him.”

(Genesis 2:18)¹

 

Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you.

(Genesis 3:16)²

 

 

Subsequent scriptures lend further support to the fact that it is God’s general plan for men and women to be married—for children to grow up, leave their mothers and fathers, be united in marriage, and become one flesh.³ 

However, this is not to say that all men and women, without ex­ception, must get married.  For example, Jesus acknowledged that some people might properly renounce marriage because of physical limitations or because of their focus on the kingdom of heaven.⁴

The apostle Paul went even further; he advocated staying single for life (like he was) if at all possible.  However, he recommended that men and women who could not control themselves should get married so that they didn’t “burn with passion” or fall prey to sexual immorality.^5,6

Finally, Paul made another noteworthy recommendation re­garding marriage.  He urged that if you are a believer in Jesus Christ you should never marry anyone who is an unbeliever.⁷

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and

be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

(Mark 10:7-8)³

For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced

marriage  because of the kingdom of heaven .  The one who

can accept this should accept it.

(Matthew 19:12)⁴

Now to the unmarried and widows I say:  It is good for

them to stay unmarried, as I am.  But if they cannot

control themselves, they should marry, for it is

better to marry than to burn with passion.

(1 Corinthians 7:8-9)⁵

It is good for man not to marry.  But since there is so

much immorality, each man should have his own wife,

and each woman her own husband.

(1 Corinthians 7:1-2)⁶

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers .

(2 Corinthians 6:14)⁷

God’s Guidance

Husbands

Men, if you are blessed by finding a wife, you should be thankful.  The Bible proclaims that he who has found a wife has found “what is good” and will receive favor from the Lord.⁸ You are to love your wife and sacrifice for her just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy.⁹ You are to provide for your wife and take care of her, just as you love your own body and take care of it.¹⁰ You are to be considerate and treat her with respect, and not be harsh with her.¹¹

He who finds a wife finds what is good and

receives favor from the Lord.

(Proverbs 18:22)⁸

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the

church and gave himself up for her to make her holy.

(Ephesians 5:25-26)⁹

Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. 

He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one

ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it,

just as Christ does the church.

(Ephesians 5:28-29)¹⁰

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you

live with your wives, and treat them with respect

as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the

gracious gift of life, so that nothing will

hinder your prayers.

(1 Peter 3:7)¹¹

Now as the church submits to Christ,

so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

(Ephesians 5:24)¹²

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ,

and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

(1 Corinthians 11:3)¹³

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

(Ephesians 5:22)¹⁴

Wives

Women, you were created to be a helpmate¹ for your husband and you are to submit to him in everything.¹² This may sound like a difficult task, but the scriptures indicate that if your husband is properly submissive to Jesus Christ, you can submit to him with confidence.  Since God is the head of Jesus, when you submit to your husband it is the same thing as submitting to the Lord.^13,14

Wives, you are to dress modestly and not focus on “beauty” and outward adornment; instead, you should focus on your “inner self” and possess the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, “which is of great worth in God’s sight.”¹⁵ You should be clothed with “strength and dignity” and take care of your house­hold and not be lazy.¹⁶ You should possess a noble charac­ter,¹⁷ refrain from malicious talk,¹⁸ be prudent (exercise good judgment and common sense),¹⁹ be trustworthy in every­thing,¹⁸ and speak with wisdom and faithful instruction.¹⁶  

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,

such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry

and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self,

the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

which is of great worth in God’s sight.

(1 Peter 3:3-4)¹⁵

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh

at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 

She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat of the bread of idleness.

(Proverbs 31:25-27)¹⁶

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,

but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

(Proverbs 12:4)¹⁷

In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy

of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and

trustworthy in everything.

(1 Timothy 3:11)¹⁸

Houses and wealth are inherited from parents,

but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

(Proverbs 19:14)¹⁹