DIVORCE

Article by: Dr. Brian Campbell, from: "Godly Counsel:  Scriptures for today's world...:

Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved

 

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel.”

(Malachi 2:16)

 

 

Divorce : the legal dissolution of a marriage

 

Divorce rates are soaring worldwide—even among Christians.  The impact of divorce can be felt throughout the family system and the damaging effects can extend from one generation to the next.  God’s Word takes a very firm stance on divorce. It is only permitted under very narrowly defined circumstances.

 

Synopsis

 

The Lord God Almighty hates divorce.¹ He allowed divorce at only  one point in history—when Moses and his people walked this earth.² Prior to that time (from the point of creation to the time of Moses), divorce was not permitted.² Interestingly, the Bible re­veals that the exception God made for the followers of Moses (i.e., divorce) did not remain for long.

 

When Jesus began His ministry on this earth, He proclaimed to His followers that divorce was no longer permitted.³ There was only one nly“marital unfaithfulness” (sexual  on

 

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel.

(Malachi 2:16)¹

 

Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts

were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.

(Matthew 19:8)²

 

It has been said, “Anyone who divorces his wife must give

her a certificate of divorce.”  But I tell you that anyone

who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness,

causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who

marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

(Matthew 5:31-32)³

 

 

exception, and that was "marital unfaithfulness" (sexual intercourse outside of marriage).³   If a man or woman got divorced for any other reason, and then got married again, Jesus said he or she would be committing adultery;^4,5 also, if a man were to marry a divorced woman, he would be committing adultery.⁶

 

Later on, the apostle Paul reaffirmed what Jesus had pro­claimed.⁷ In addition, Paul provided further information and clar­ification regarding divorce. For example, in the case where a be­liever is married to an unbeliever, if the unbeliever wants to stay in the marriage, then the believer is not permitted to divorce.^8,9 

 

 

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife,

except for marital unfaithfulness,

and marries another woman commits adultery.

(Matthew 19:9)⁴

 

And if she divorces her husband and marries another man,

she commits adultery.

(Mark 10:12)⁵

 

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman

commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced

 woman commits adultery.

(Luke 16:18)⁶

 

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): 

A wife must not separate from her husband.  But if

she does, she must remain unmarried or else be

reconciled to her husband.  And a husband

must not divorce his wife.

(1 Corinthians 7:10-11)⁷

 

If any brother has a wife who is not a believer

and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

(1 Corinthians 7:12)⁸

 

And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and

he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

(1 Corinthians 7:13)⁹

 

 

However, if an unbeliever leaves the marriage, then the believer is no longer bound in such circumstances (and is permitted to di­vorce).¹⁰ 

 

Thus, the Scriptures reveal only two exceptions where divorce is permissible, namely: “marital unfaithfulness,”³ and abandonment by an unbeliever.¹⁰  If you divorce for “non-biblical” reasons, God commands that you stay unmarried or else reconcile with your former spouse.⁷  Even the process of “separation” (as an alternative to divorce) appears biblically questionable as a long-term strategy or permanent solution for dealing with difficult marriages.^7,11

 

Finally, in the instance where a man or woman is married and the spouse dies, he or she is free to marry again, as long as the other person is a believer.¹²

 

God’s Guidance

 

If you are divorced, thinking of getting a divorce, or considering marrying someone who has had a divorce, you should seek godly counsel.  The situations surrounding divorce are often complex and typically require thoughtful prayer,¹³ biblical guidance,¹⁴ and wise counsel.¹⁵

 

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so.  A believing

man or woman is not bound in such circumstances;

God has called us to live in peace.

(1 Corinthians 7:15)¹⁰

 

Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent

and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. 

Then come together again so that Satan  will not

tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

(1 Corinthians 7:5)¹¹

 

A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. 

But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone else

she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

(1 Corinthians 7:39)¹²

 

Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray.

(James 5:13)¹³

 

Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors.

(Psalm 119:24)¹⁴

 

 

As you seek guidance, study God’s commandments and turn to the Holy Spiritfor help—the great Counselor, “who will guide you into all truth.”^16,17

 

Finally, if you are in a divorce situation, try not to be argumentative.¹⁸ And if you are divorced and have children, make every effort to provide for them financially, and for your ex-spouse (if necessary); if you do not provide for your relatives, and especially your immediate family, the Scriptures suggest that you are denying your faith and are “worse than an unbeliever.”¹⁹

 

 

The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters,

but a man of understanding draws them out.

(Proverbs 20:5)¹⁵

 

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another

Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth.

(John 14:16-17)¹⁶

 

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes,

he will guide you into all truth.

(James 16:13)¹⁷

 

Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments,

because you know they produce quarrels.

(2 Timothy 2:23)¹⁸

 

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially

for his immediate family, he has denied the faith

and is worse than an unbeliever.

(1 Timothy 5:8)¹⁹