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Lying:
to make an untrue statement or give false
information
Deceit: the act or
attempt to trick or mislead
Slander: a false,
malicious statement which injures reputation
Gossip: rumor or
idle talk about someone
Quarrel: a verbal
dispute or heated argument
As Christians, the way we communicate with others is
extremely important. Our words can injure others, or
they can heal. They can condemn, or they can be
uplifting. They can be true and righteous, or they
can be deceptive and false. The words we speak are a
reflection of the condition of our faith and our
walk with the Lord.
The Bible is overflowing with advice on how to
communicate
effectively with others, and how to avoid hurting
others with
careless speech.
Synoposis
Our words, whether good or bad, flow out of the
condition of
our heart.1 That is, our words are indicators of our
spiritual
maturity.2 Ideally, everything we say should be
spoken with
the utmost care and consideration—“as if speaking
the very
words of God.”3 After all, the words we say can have
tremendous
influence on the lives of others, even to the point
of influencing life and death.4 Choose your
words carefully,
because on the day of judgment each of us will have
to give an
account for every careless word we have spoken.5
How to Speak:
Be gentle and don’t shout.6 Raising your voice and
being harsh with another person tends to “stir up
anger” and
break down communication. People are much more
likely to
listen to you if you speak in a quiet voice.7 Also,
you’ll be
much more persuasive if you are patient and speak
with a
“gentle tongue” rather than shouting.8
Control your anger. Show restraint, and don’t let
yourself get out of control.9,10 A hot-tempered man
stirs up
arguments and quarrels,11,12 and is likely to commit
many sins
as a result of his anger.13 If you are wise, you
will try to
remain even-tempered and show restraint when you
speak to
others.14
When to Speak:
Think
before you speak.15,16 Put a guard over your
mouth and be careful what you say.17,18 Don’t speak
too
quickly.19 Some-times it is much better to “hold
your tongue”
and listen to the other person before you
answer.20,21 You
don’t have to respond to everything another
person says.22
When you can see that a topic of conversation is
going to lead
to an argument, learn to drop the matter before a
dispute
breaks out.23 Also, be patient and keep things in
perspective;
it is often wise to overlook an offense.24
Avoid arguments and quarrels. If you love to
quarrel,
you probably love to sin.25 It is exceedingly
difficult to live
with a quarrelsome husband26 or wife.27-29 If at
all
possible, try to avoid strife in your home.30,31
Stand back and
keep things in perspective; don’t have anything to
do with
foolish or stupid arguments.32 The Lord’s servant
must not
quarrel.33
What Not to Say:
Don’t Stoop To The Other Person’s Level: If the
conversation begins to deteriorate and the other
person is
being foolish or childish, be mature and don’t stoop
to his or
her level.34,35
Don’t Mock Others: Don’t mock or make fun of
others36,37 or God may mock you; remain humble.38
People who
mock others resent being corrected.39 No one likes a
mocker.40
Don’t Insult Others: If someone insults you, don’t
return the insult.41 Just because you get insulted,
you don’t
need to “insult back” and hurt the other person as
well.42 On
some occasions, it is more prudent to overlook an
insult
rather than let it upset you.43 [However, this does
not mean
that you should allow someone to continually
verbally abuse
you.]
Don’t
Swear or Use Filthy Language: Never misuse the
name of the Lord your God.44 Don’t use filthy or
obscene
language or tell “dirty jokes.”45,46
Don’t let
anything
unwholesome come out of your mouth.47 If you
consider yourself
to be a religious person but don’t keep a tight rein
on your
tongue, you are deceiving yourself and your
“religion is
worthless.”48
Don’t Lie: God detests people who tell lies, but He
delights in people who are truthful.49 If you love
life and
want to have good things happen to you, then you
should watch
what you say and avoid telling lies.50 In addition,
you are
also to avoid “deception,”51,52 which is a less
obvious form
of lying.
If you don’t refrain from lying and deception, the
consequences
can be severe. Scriptures indicate that God
“destroys” those
who tell lies, and He “abhors” deceitful men.53
Moreover, no
one who practices lying or deceit [and is
unrepentant] will
dwell in God’s house or stand in His presence.54
Don’t Tell
Falsehoods: God pays special attention to lies that
are
targeted at our neighbors (also called
“falsehoods”). The
Ninth Commandment states: “You shall not give false
witness
against your neighbor.”55 This is because, when you
lie about
your neighbor, you can cause him or her great
harm.56 As
Christians, we should be especially careful about
telling
falsehoods about one another, as we are all members
of one
body.57
Some people lie or deceive in order to cheat and
steal from
others. Although such actions may bring temporary
rewards, God
cautions us about engaging in dishonest
behavior.58,59 A
fortune made through lying can be quickly lost and
such ill-gotten gains can prove to be a deadly snare.60 In
the final
analysis, it is better to be poor than to be a
liar.61
Don’t Slander:
If you speak falsely about someone in
order to ruin his or her reputation (i.e.,
“defame”), this is
called slander. God specifically commands us not to
slander
others,62 and warns that He will put to “silence”
anyone who
slanders his neighbor in secret.63 King Solomon
warns that
whoever spreads slander is a fool.64
Don’t Gossip: Slander is very closely related to
gossip. When you gossip about someone, you spread
rumors about
the person “behind his or her back” (that can be
harmful or
hurtful). Very often, gossip represents a betrayal
of
something that someone has told another person in
confidence.65,66
It can be very enticing to listen to another person
gossip.67 However, gossip can prove to be extremely
destructive with
regard to human relationships. It can break up
friendships,68
and “fuel the fire” of arguments and quarrels.69
People who
are idle (and have too much time on their hands)
often gossip
and say things they shouldn’t say.70 Avoid godless
chatter.71
Don’t Keep Bringing Up The Past:
If the person you
are talking
to has sinned against you, but has genuinely and
truly
repented, you should forgive him/her and stop
bringing up the
past offense.72,73 Love keeps no record of wrongs.74
GOD'S GUIDANCE
What to Say:
Be truthful: It pleases God when we are
truthful,75,76
and when we answer honestly.77
A person who tells
lies may
benefit temporarily, but “truthful lips” endure
forever.78 If
you tell lies or are deceitful, you should repent
and pray that
God will remove this sin from your heart.79,80
If you are tempted to lie or deceive, you should
remember that
the devil is a liar, and the “father of all lies.”81
Resist the
devil, and he will flee from you.82
Say Nice Things:
Kind and pleasant words can be very powerful,
and can help heal any situation. Choose your
words carefully; they can serve as beautiful gifts—like
“apples of
gold in settings of silver.”83 They can be “sweet to
the soul
and healing to the bones.”84 And they can aid in the
process of
teaching and learning.85
Be Happy, Cheerful, Joyful:
You can set the
emotional
tone for good communication. As much as depends on
you, strive
to be happy,86,87 cheerful,88,89 and joyful.90
Encourage One Another: Encourage each other daily,
and build
each other up.91,92 Spur one another toward love and
good
deeds.93 Nourish one another94 and let God’s Word
guide your
speech.95
Finally, strive to live a righteous and holy life,
and let
everything that comes out of your mouth reflect the
faith you
have in Jesus Christ. The mouth of a righteous man
can be a
“fountain of life.”96 Be peaceable and considerate,
and show
true humility toward all men.97
As much as is possible, strive to live in peace and
harmony
with everyone; be sympathetic and compassionate.98
Regardless
of your situation, conduct yourself in a manner that
is worthy
of the gospel
of Christ.99 In the end, those who walk uprightly
will find
peace,100 and the righteous will “shine like the
sun” in the
kingdom of heaven.101
SCRIPTURES
The good man brings good things out of the good
stored up in
his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out
of the evil
stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of
his heart
his mouth speaks.
(Luke 6:45)1
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does
not
keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself
and his religion is worthless.
(James 1:26)2
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one
speaking
the very words of God.
(1 Peter 4:11)3
The tongue has the power of life and death.
(Proverbs 18:21)4
But I tell you that men will have to give account on
the day of
judgment for every careless word they have spoken.
For by your
words you will be acquitted, and by your words you
will be
condemned.
(Matthew 12:36-37)5
A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a
harsh word stirs up anger.
(Proverbs 15:1)6
The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded
than the shouts of a ruler of fools.
(Ecclesiastes 9:17)7
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
(Proverbs 25:15)8
A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man
keeps himself under control.
(Proverbs 29:11)9
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
(Ecclesiastes 7:9)10
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension,
but a
patient man calms a quarrel.
(Proverbs 15:18)11
For as churning the milk produces butter,
and as
twisting the
nose produces blood,
so stirring up anger produces
strife.(Proverbs 30:33)12
An angry man stirs up dissension,
and a hot-tempered
one commits many sins.
(Proverbs 29:22)13
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a
man
of understanding is even-tempered.
(Proverbs 17:27)14
He who guards his lips guards his life,
but he who
speaks rashly will come to ruin.
(Proverbs 13:3)15
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers,
but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
(Proverbs 15:28)16
He who guards his mouth and his tongue
keeps himself from calamity.
(Proverbs 21:23)17
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.
(Psalm 141:3)18
Do you see a man who speaks in haste?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
(Proverbs 29:20)19
He who answers before listening—that is
his folly and his shame.
(Proverbs 18:13)20
When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.
(Proverbs 10:19)21
Do not pay attention to every word people say.
(Ecclesiastes 7:21)22
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam;
so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
(Proverbs 17:14)23
A man’s wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
(Proverbs 19:11)24
He who loves a quarrel loves sin.
(Proverbs 17:19)25
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
(Proverbs 26:21)26
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
(Proverbs 19:13)27
Better to live in a desert
than with a
quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
(Proverbs 21:19)28
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a
rainy day;
restraining her is like restraining the
wind
or grasping oil with the hand.
(Proverbs 27:15-16)29
It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife.
(Proverbs 20:3)30
Better a dry crust with peace and quiet
than a house
full of feasting, with strife.
(Proverbs 17:1)31
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid
arguments,
because you know they produce quarrels.
(2 Timothy 2:23)32
And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead,
he must be kind to everyone,
able to teach,
not resentful.
(2 Timothy 2:24)33
Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you will be like him yourself.
(Proverbs 26:4)34
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought
like a
child,
I reasoned like a child. When I became a man,
I put childish ways behind me.
(1 Corinthians 13:11)35
Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife;
quarrels and insults are ended.
(Proverbs 22:10)36
Again, anyone who says to his brother, “Raca”
[worthless]
is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says,
“You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell.
(Matthew 5:22)37
He [God] mocks proud mockers but
gives grace to the humble.
(Proverbs 3:34)38
A mocker resents correction; he will not consult the
wise.
(Proverbs 15:12)39
Men detest a mocker.
(Proverbs 24:9)40
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.
(1 Peter 3:9)41
Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you will be like him yourself.
(Proverbs 26:4)42
A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.
(Proverbs 12:16)43
You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God,
for the
LORD will not hold anyone guiltless
who misuses his
name.
(Exodus 20:7)44
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things
as these:
anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language
from your
lips.
(Colossians 3:8)45
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or
coarse joking,
which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
(Ephesians 5:4)46
Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but
only what is helpful for building others up
according
to their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen.
(Ephesians 4:29)47
If anyone considers himself religious and yet
does not keep a tight rein
on his tongue, he
deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
(James 1:26)48
The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in
men who are truthful.
(Proverbs 12:22)49
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see
many good days,
keep your tongue from evil and
your lips
from speaking lies. (Psalm
34:12-13)50
Do not lie. Do not deceive one another.
(Leviticus 19:11)51
Keep me from deceitful ways.
(Psalm
119:29)52
You destroy those who tell lies;
bloodthirsty
and deceitful men the LORD abhors.
(Psalm 5:6)53
No one who practices deceit will dwell in my
house;
no one who speaks falsely will stand in
my presence.
(Psalm 101:7)54
"You shall not give false testimony against your
neighbor.
(Exodus 20:16)55
Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the
man who gives
false testimony against his
neighbor.
(Proverbs 25:18)56
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and
speak truthfully
to his neighbor, for we are all
members of one body.
(Ephesians 4:25)57
For the LORD your God detests anyone who does
these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.
(Deuteronomy 25:16)58
Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man,
but
he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.
(Proverbs 20:17)59
A fortune made by a lying tongue
is a fleeting
vapor and a deadly snare.
(Proverbs 21:6)60
Better to be poor than a liar.
(Proverbs
19:22)61
"Do not go about spreading slander among your
people.”
“I am the LORD.”
(Leviticus 19:16)62
Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret,
him
will I put to silence.
(Psalm 101:5)63
Whoever spreads slander is a fool.
(Proverbs 10:18)64
A gossip betrays a confidence,
but a trustworthy
man keeps a secret.
(Proverbs 11:13)65
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man
who talks too much.
(Proverbs 20:19)66
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
(Proverbs 18:8)67
A gossip separates close friends.
(Proverbs 16:28)68
Without wood a fire goes out;
without gossip a
quarrel dies down.
(Proverbs 26:20)69
Besides, they [young widowers] get into the
habit of being idle
and going about from house
to house. And not only do they become idlers,
but also gossips and busybodies,
saying things they ought not to say.
(1
Timothy 5:13)70
Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge
in it
will become more and more ungodly.
(2 Timothy 2:16)71
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God
forgave you.
(Ephesians 4:32)72
Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have
against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
(Colossians 3:13)73
Love is patient, love is kind…it keeps no record
of wrongs.
(1 Corinthians 13: 4-5)74
O LORD, do not your eyes look for truth?
(Jeremiah 5:3)75
Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you
teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
(Psalm 51:6)76
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.
(Proverbs 24:26)77
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue
lasts only a moment.
(Proverbs 12:19)78
Keep falsehood and lies far from me.
(Proverbs 30:8)79
Keep me from deceitful ways.
(Psalm 119:
29)80
When he [the devil] lies, he speaks his native
language,
for he is a liar and the father of
lies.
(John 8:44)81
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
(James 4:7)82
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in
settings of silver
(Proverbs 25:11)83
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the
soul and healing to the bones.
(Proverbs 16:24)84
Pleasant words promote instruction.
(Proverbs 16:21)85
I know that there is nothing better for men than
to be happy
and do good while they live.
(Ecclesiastes 3:12)86
But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before
God;
may they be happy and joyful. (Psalm
68:3)87
The cheerful heart has a continual feast.
(Proverbs 15:15)88
A cheerful heart is good medicine.
(Proverbs 17:22)89
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks
in all circumstances,
for this is God's
will for you in Christ Jesus.
(1
Thessalonians 5:16-18)90
But encourage one another daily, as long as it
is called Today,
so that none of you may be
hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
(Hebrews
3:13)91
Therefore encourage one another and build each
other up,
just as in fact you are doing.
(1
Thessalonians 5:11)92
And let us consider how we may spur one another
on
toward love and good deeds.
(Hebrews 10:24)93
The lips of the righteous nourish many.
(Proverbs 10:21)94
I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might
not sin against you.
(Psalm 119:11)95
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of
life.
(Proverbs 15:4)96
Remind the people…to slander no one,
to be
peaceable and considerate,
and show true
humility toward all men.
(Titus 3:2)97
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one
another;
be sympathetic, love as brothers,
be
compassionate and humble.
(1 Peter 3:8)98
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner
worthy of the gospel of Christ.
(Philippians 1:27)99
Those who walk uprightly enter into peace.
(Isaiah 57:2)100
Then the righteous will shine like the sun in
the kingdom of their Father.
He who has ears,
let him hear.
(Matthew 13:43)101
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